The prodigal son and the unusual suspects mastercard gift card canada

About the prodigal son and the unusual suspects

Native new yorker emmanuel sheafe captures the wacky insanity of growing up african american in the big apple in the 1970’s. THE PRODIGAL SON THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS is a start to finish laugh-out-loud-tale that can be summarized in 4 words, “scandalous escapades outrageous exploits!’

Born into a devoutly religious family he was so ill-behaved when he was around 10 years old the church congregation decided to take up a collection for an exorcism. Although he scored a 171 on an IQ test the principal of his elementary school informed his family that he was being assigned to a special ed class. “we’re convinced he’s retarded!” as he states, “in the 1970’s there was no such thing as political correctness; you were simply a retard, moron, imbecile or just plain f*^’king stupid!”

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He engrosses the reader as he writes about being shipped off at age eleven to a private boarding school in canada where, for close to 3 years, he was the only black kid among 400 caucasian students from all over the globe. Abruptly his classes changed from an inner-city curriculum to equestrian horseback riding, ice hockey 101 and performing half gainers in the olympic-size swimming pool. He details the amusing cultural shock of returning to brooklyn to attend an all-male, all black and hispanic high school. “after my first day of being laughed damn near out of the building I vowed to never again wear my starched blue button-down shirts, two-tone saddle shoes and white V-neck pullover sweater…in private school, I would have looked real cool…to this gathering I was an uncle tom house nigga.”

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All hell breaks loose with the zany cast of characters. Guys like the school narcotics dealer. While making barbecue spareribs for the annual church picnic his parole officer unexpectedly shows up at his house. He panics and makes a split-second decision to dispose of his weekly allocation of merchandise by pouring two ounces of marijuana, an eighth of a kilo of cocaine, 30 mg. Of methamphetamine and a handful of fentanyl into the barbecue sauce. During the sermon the following sunday, the pastor spent over an hour complimenting, “the tremendous barbecue that brother abdullah made at the picnic…he was touched by the divine hand of god!” to shouts of “amen” “praise jesus” and “oh hallelujah” from all over the sanctuary. Abdullah walks around royally pissed for about a year.Mastercard gift card canada he said, “them muth%^$^ing intoxicated saints better not complain, those were $10,000 ribs.”

If you love to laugh, this is a must read non-fiction adventure. Between the covers of this book lurk these and dozens of utterly unforgettable, hilarious, sidesplitting and pandemonium-causing characters.

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Author bio:

I have no desire to write this bio, preface, introduction, prologue, overture or anything else you wish to call it. At this moment…I simply don’t feel doing it. Isn’t the synopsis enough for you people? I’m an only child. I have no brothers, no sisters and few cousins, so I’ve always been able to do what I want, when I want, like I want, and when I feel like it…in this regard my life has been simple… and great!Mastercard gift card canada now I don’t feel like writing; but my editor told me I had to. Obviously, she’s not an only child and doesn’t understand how these things work!

…anyway, sometimes I get the urge for my contorted version of literary brilliance and then I can’t stop. Writing to me can be applied to a saying I heard about thirty years ago in an NA meeting in greenwich village, or maybe it was an AA meeting up in harlem, regardless, ”…one word is too many and one thousand words are never enough,” obviously ‘words’ was not the central topic.

…forget movies, for me the ability to articulate a thought, mood, idea, concept or event on paper is incalculable. But more imperative, to convey this in an epigrammatic witty manner is, like the old mastercard commercial, priceless!Mastercard gift card canada my writing is certainly not ponderous…well, maybe slightly. I’ll admit on occasion it tilts to the minimally verbose, but my editor successfully handles that…I think!?!? Anywho…I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy this masterpiece. I you don’t, well F*%$^K you!!! Thanks for letting me share!